On Not Knowing Russian, Part 2

Walking on the third floor of the JFSB last week I passed a professor's office which appeared to have this name on the plaque:

Russia v. Slovenia

I thought that was a fitting match-up although I think Russia would certainly win. Was this a political statement being made? a statement of patriotism?

Actually, upon closer look I realized that the office belonged to one Raissa V. Solovieva.

On Not Knowing Russian

While ambling to my Physical Science class today (so cool) I stepped into the Clyde Building and walked passed a hurried young man talking on his cell:

"Yeah I've got shlovnik and salzkov. Yeah"

Because I was stomach-eating-itself hungry at the time I imagined that this gentleman had not one but two different varieties of Russian sausage which he was taking to an undisclosed location that he would soon disclose to me via text message.

But then I realized that there's the unfortunate chance that he was telling his mother that he has developed two painful and odious skin afflictions, contracted during his studies of Russian housepets.

Or perhaps the words should be capitalized and italicized to become his favorite two albums from the year's premier Ukranian emo group (whatever that might be).

At any rate, I'm glad I don't know Russian. It would simply ruin the fun of going to BYU, of walking to Physical Science class, of a day otherwise spent in a bit of a haze. Imagine if I actually knew for certain that this young man was explaining to a friend that he has "classified information"(shlovnik) and "wherewithal"(salzkov). Then what would I do?

The Call

I have found my calling in life:


http://completeall.com/Art-and-Design/Watermelon-Carving.html

In other news: One of my recent goals has been to learn how to cook good food on a shoestring budget. Let me tell you, it's not that easy. There's kind of a spectrum things run on: either the food is expensive and tasty, or inexpensive and not tasty. That being said, there have been a few good developments:

One was our recent dumpling party. I didn't get any pictures unfortunately, but can tell you that we all had a pretty good time. I think the total budget was about 10 dollars which went towards making probably 60-70 dumplings. It was enough to feed eight people pretty well. Here's the recipe:

The Shopping List

Note: Items bought in large quantities, l have been pro-rated for cost. Ingredients a cook can reasonably be expected to have on hand are considered "Pantry Items" and are not factored into recipe cost. I want to suggest shopping for these things at Chao's in Provo in part because Mr. and Mrs. Chao are my heroes, and things will be much cheaper than large chain stores.

Pork and Cabbage Dumplings
1 package "Shanghai-style" dumpling wrappers - $2.25
1/2 pound ground pork - $1.24
Small head Napa cabbage - $1.70
4 scallions - $0.75
Bunch cilantro - $0.75
Small knob ginger - $0.15

Procedure

1. Bring a large pot of water to a boil over high heat. Blanch cabbage until just wilted, about 2 minutes. Remove from heat and rinse in cold water. Drain, squeeze out excess water, and transfer to a large mixing bowl.

2. Add all remaining ingredients to bowl containing cabbage. Knead by hand until thoroughly combined.

Dumpling wrappers can be purchased at Asian grocery stores or in the freezer section of many supermarkets. I like the thicker, "Shanghai-style" wrappers, which are less fragile to work with and far more filling.

First, prepare a small bowl of cold water. Pile two teaspoons of filling in the center of the dumpling wrapper. Using your fingertip, moisten the outer edge of the wrapper with water. Fold wrapper in half, forming a half-moon, and pleat the edges, pressing firmly to seal. Repeat with remaining dumplings.

To Cook

Working in batches, carefully lower dumplings into a medium pot of boiling water and boil for 3 to 5 minutes. They are done when the skins are translucent and the dumplings have been boiling for at least 3 minutes.

Another good success in terms of cooking has been my latest venture into macaroni and cheese. It's kind of comfort food for me and gets high marks, especially since this is not the Kraft junk that I've wasted so much time eating. Here's a recipe for real (and real good) mac 'n cheese:

Ingredients

• 6 slices good-quality white bread, crusts removed, torn into 1/4- to 1/2-inch pieces
• 8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, plus more for dish
• 5 1/2 cups milk
• 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons kosher salt
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 4 1/2 cups (about 18 ounces) grated sharp white cheddar
• 2 cups (about 8 ounces) grated Gruyere or 1 1/4 cups (about 5 ounces) grated pecorino Romano
• 1 pound elbow macaroni

Method

• 1. Heat the oven to 375 degrees. Butter a 3-quart casserole dish; set aside. Place bread pieces in a medium bowl. In a small saucepan over medium heat, melt 2 tablespoons butter. Pour butter into the bowl with bread, and toss. Set the breadcrumbs aside. In a medium saucepan set over medium heat, heat milk. Melt remaining 6 tablespoons butter in a high-sided skillet over medium heat. When butter bubbles, add flour. Cook, stirring, 1 minute.
• 2. Slowly pour hot milk into flour-butter mixture while whisking. Continue cooking, whisking constantly, until the mixture bubbles and becomes thick.
• 3. Remove the pan from the heat. Stir in salt, nutmeg, black pepper, cayenne pepper, 3 cups cheddar, and 1 1/2 cups Gruyere or 1 cup pecorino Romano. Set cheese sauce aside.
• 4. Fill a large saucepan with water. Bring to a boil. Add macaroni; cook 2 to 3 fewer minutes than manufacturer's directions, until outside of pasta is cooked and inside is underdone. (Different brands of macaroni cook at different rates; be sure to read the instructions.) Transfer the macaroni to a colander, rinse under cold running water, and drain well. Stir macaroni into the reserved cheese sauce.
• 5. Pour the mixture into the prepared casserole dish. Sprinkle remaining 1 1/2 cups cheddar and 1/2 cup Gruyere or 1/4 cup pecorino Romano; scatter breadcrumbs over the top. Bake until browned on top, about 30 minutes. Transfer dish to a wire rack to cool for 5 minutes; serve.

I eliminated the Gruyere in part because it cost like ten bucks (!) and the stuff still turned out great. White cheddar is a little bit pricey (I think I paid 4.99 for 8 oz) but well worth the cost. I cut the recipe in half and had at least four lunches out of the stuff. By the way, the recipe is from Martha Stewart, who if you don't know is out of jail and back...with a vengeance.